When One Door Closes
by OverHerHeels
Summary: Katniss Everdeen had spent the majority of her life fighting- to survive, to rebuild, to love. When the fight becomes too much for her to manage on her own, though, she realizes that the only way to make it through is to lean on the people that love her. Peeta/Katniss. Rated M for what may or may not happen as the story progresses. MY VERY FIRST FANFIC. Please be kind.
1. Another Door Opens

It had been months since the rebuilding effort had begun. All the remaining residents of District 12 had begun to assume some semblance of normalcy in their lives. Even Peeta had found his way into the District rebuilding effort (officially being referred to as "Project Hope"). Me -on the other hand- had just regained the strength to rebuild from the inside out. It was by no credit of my own. Greasy Sae had made it her personal mission to look in on me from time to time, which was greatly appreciated. Although some days I could greet her with no more than a nod and a grunt, knowing she was there had contributed immensely to my healing process.

She even brought around her granddaughter, Harmony ,to sit with me on the rougher days. The times when she herself was needed in the rebuilding effort (and she couldn't babysit me), Harmony was my company. Neither of us spoke (considering five year olds don't seem to be the greatest conversationalists) much, which was just fine with me. Sae had come back to put on a pot of soup and pick up Harmony, when I finally shook away the cobwebs and decided to take control of my life.

"Sae, you can't keep babying me like this." I dipped a ladle into the pot and poured a bowl of soup. She must have brought over the ladle at some point, because I had made no effort to create a homely atmosphere in Victor's Village.

"Oh hush, Everdeen. We look out for each other in 12, okay? That's what family does." She scooped up Harmony and balanced her on her waist. "I'll be here until I know you don't need me. I made your father a promise that I'll keep until I'm six-feet-under myself!"

I broke into a half-smile at the mention of my father. There was a time when hearing of him would have driven me to find solace in the woods, relishing in the scent of his hunting jacket. "Thanks, Sae."

"Don't even think about it, kid. See you in the morning."

With that, she was gone. Dinner passed quickly and quietly, as it often does when you're alone. I showered quickly and brushed my hair into a quick braid. I laid awake for quite some time without drifting off to sleep, yet when I finally did, I awoke quickly and anxiously. Sweat dripped from my brow as I tried to establish myself again. I couldn't recall what I had seen, but from my pulse racing and disorientation I knew it had been among the more serious. The nightmares hadn't stopped.

"Katniss?" I heard the pounding of heavy footsteps rushing up the stairs. Before I knew what I was doing, I had rolled out of bed and grabbed the auxiliary bow under the window- poised for attack. "Oh God! Katniss, it's just me!"

Peeta was taken aback by my attack mode. I lowered my bow reluctantly as I took in the sight of him. His chiseled abs were apparent even in the dim moonlight. I must have torn him away from his sleep as well. "I- I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you... Or attempt to kill you."

I slumped against my wall and slid to the floor. It was exhausting, this fight. The fight for sleep, for peace, against myself, against everyone else.

He crossed the floor cautiously and sat next to me. "I thought we had gotten past the murder phase in our relationship, Katniss." I noticed the humor in his voice. His calm demeanor never failed to alleviate the tension from any situation.

I bumped against him gently. "Oh shut up." I massaged my temples soothingly. "I really wish I hadn't woken you."

He covered my right hand with his own. Goosebumps ran up my arm at the touch. We had barely maintained a full conversation since we had returned to District 12, let alone shared any physical contact. The closest we had gotten were the evenings we decided to add to our book. "I wasn't asleep anyway." His thumb absentmindedly traced a scar on my wrist, created years ago from a bow I had faultily strung. "Evenings are always the hardest. In the day we can work around our demons, ignore the pain, bury the secrets- but I can't forget when the world is silent. When all the noise is gone, and I'm left with nothing but memories."

"How do you get through it?" I looked at him, willing him to meet my gaze.

He stopped tracing the scar and directed his beautiful blue eyes to my own, grey, Seam eyes. "I think of you."

I caught myself before a smile played across my lips. I had grown to know and even love Peeta, but I wasn't quite ready to let him in like that. I by no means was ready to let him go yet. I stood quickly and brushed off my nightgown. "Do you, um, would you like to stay here until morning? I don't see any reason why we should be awake, alone."

A flicker of surprise was on his face. "I would like that." I crawled back under the covers and pushed down the bedspread for him to join. Although he kept a safe distance, his warmth did allow me to feel just that much safer.

"Sweet dreams, Katniss." He whispered.

I shut my eyes tight to the sound of his pleasantries.

"Those don't exist anymore, Peeta."


	2. Rebuilding

Days continued much along the same simple lines. I often awoke to the sounds of Sae tampering with pots and pans in the kitchen and or Peeta breathing softly in my ear. It was most often disarming to share my bed with someone else, yet vaguely comforting. Things had in no way been the same as those nights on the train during the Victory Tour, but they were something. Neither of us had yet to learn how to heal on our own and the mutual comfort had offered some added healing.

"Peeta wake up. Peeta!" I shook him awake. The muscular arm that had held my body to his released its grip on my waist as his eyes struggled to open against the incoming morning light.

His signature half smile crept across his face. "Good morning to you too, sunshine." He extended his hands above his head to yawn.

"Oh, be quiet. Seriously, do you hear that?" He strained to hear any sound at all.

"Katniss, I know your hearing has been a little off since the Games but I-"

I sat up quickly. "There's no sound! Nothing. You smell that? Nothing. Greasy Sae didn't came to prepare breakfast today." I pushed the covers off of me and shot out of bed, grinning wildly. "Do you know what this means?"

He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. The comforter fell away and revealed his bare chest. Despite my purest intentions, I couldn't help but notice his body. His pecs and abs, even after all of this time, were still chiseled to perfection. "Kat, I'm going to be perfectly honest here, my deduction is not nearly as shrewd in the mornings- so if you could just-" I waved off his questioning stare.

"She thinks I'm better, Peeta. Sae said she would never leave unless she thought that I could be on my own again. She said that she promised my father she would look out for me." I ran my fingers through my unravelling braid and directed my eyes towards the ground. "I need my father to be proud of me again."

Although I hadn't realized, I was crying. And Peeta was holding me. And I was letting him.

One of his hands pulled me closer to him and the other caressed my unkempt hair. "It's okay, Katniss." He cooed. I let him kiss my forehead without pulling away. "You've changed the world, Katniss Everdeen. He could not have been more proud to have you as a daughter."

I looked up at him. His kind eyes met mine with a look that I couldn't quite place. It bordered on admiration, with only the slightest tinge of desire. "How could you say that after everything I've done? Done to you- to this District!"

Peeta turned away abruptly and ran his hands through his curly hair. "You don't get it yet, Katniss! How can you not understand?" He turned to face me again, cupping my face in his hands. "You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. All I want is for you to be happy."

I wanted him. More importantly, I needed him. He was acting as my saving grace.

"I missed you," the words fell from my lips before I was able to stop them. All of this time had been spent trying to keep a safe distance, and all the while, all I wanted was him. I looked into Peeta's eyes with longing. I wanted to understand how he could love someone so much after so much pain. I wanted to believe that he wouldn't leave me no matter what.

"I missed you too. More than anything."

I wrapped my arms around his neck, as he pulled my waist closer to him. I could smell the delicate scent of raisin buns still in his hair from yesterday's baking. "Will you stay with me?" I whispered into his ear.

"I never left, Katniss."

Peeta volunteered to make some breakfast, and being the ever-so-grateful person I am, happily obliged. It wasn't like I was the greatest cook anyway. I took the time he spent in the kitchen to go clean myself up a bit. It had been a rough couple of days in Victor's Village. After attempting to go out on the hunt, my lack of practice bested me in my efforts to climb a tree (I may have slipped and shaken a birds' nest loose... The mama was none too pleased with me). I still hadn't fully recovered from the incident.

I stepped into the shower and let the warm water wash over me. The healing power of the water only went so far as washing away dirt, I'd reluctantly accepted. The scars were stains destined to stay. I quickly washed my hair, towelled off, and grabbed some clothes from the bureau. A pair of grey trousers and a plain white button up were the nicest wardrobe pieces I'd utilized in weeks. With my hair in a sideswept braid and teeth thoroughly brushed, I finally felt like someone who could be left in charge of their own life.

"Oh, nice to see you could finally join us, Sweetheart!" Haymitch bellowed from the kitchen table as I descended the stairs. He hadn't made his way over in quite some time, so it was no surprise that he was looking for a meal.

"Haymitch, you must have gotten my open invitation for all vagrants in 12 to come eat with us this morning!" I feigned a happy face and sat down at the table. Peeta laughed from the counter.

"Haymitch was just saying how much he missed our quality time together." Peeta sat a plate of cheese buns down on the table and grabbed a seat. "We haven't seen much of each other lately."

"That's because his face has been at the bottom of a bottle." I huffed.

Haymitch laughed. "Better that than the bottom of-" Peeta held up his hand to keep Haymitch from retorting. "Anyways, nice to see you fix yourself up a little, sweetheart. Special occasion?"

I stole a glance at Peeta who was smiling sheepishly into his plate. He knew just as well as I that he could take a lot of credit for my newfound independence. His knee softly jostled mine underneath the table.

"Actually, I was thinking about heading into town today."

Peeta looked up at me with surprise. I smiled. He beamed. Haymitch laughed.

"Something strange is happening in here, and I haven't had enough drinks to deal with it this morning. I'm taking my breakfast to go." With that, he picked up is cheese bun and stumbled out the door. Once again, leaving just Peeta and I to our own devices.

"You really want to come into town? That's a really big step, Kat."

I nodded my head and reached out to grab his hand. "If you're going, I want to try. I owe that to this district."

And I thought, "I owe that to myself".

I know it's taking awhile to get to the juicy stuff, but I promise- it's coming! Reviews appreciated (:


	3. Rekindling

_In actual measured time, we had all been back in District 12 for just under a year. Panem's central government was still making a valiant attempt at rebuilding and reforming. A year wasn't going to be enough time, me of all people knew that. It was an effort that had to rectify centuries of wrongs. Not to mention, the bombings on 12 all of those months ago had more or less levelled the entire district- and it was getting rebuilt from the ground up. People went into town every day to contribute their skills to the cause. And from what I had experienced from my few ventures into town, we were on our way to a new and improved place to call home._

"Katniss, I know I've already said it, but I'm so glad you decided to come with me today." Peeta's fingers were interlaced with mine as we walked through town. When I stepped outside, I hadn't realized that my first trip would be this difficult.

"I am too." I responded simply. The truth was, although yeah I was satisfied with the progress, I was ashamed of myself. Why had it taken me so long to get out and do something for these people who had also lost everything?

"That garden really is something, right? I knew you'd love it." He was beaming. Peeta's flashbacks were few and far between these days. He spoke to Dr. Aurelius quite often, and he was learning how to manage the rough times.

I smiled weakly at the mention of the "Victory Garden" that had been planted in the square. It was beautiful, and reminded me how even the most desolate spaces can be reformed to create something wonderful. "Yeah, Ariadne has done a wonderful thing."

Ariadne was a beautiful woman; with the look of the Seam and a newborn on her hip. Her husband had died with the rebel forces before she was even able to tell him about baby Meraki. The name meant to do something with soul, creativity or love, and Ariadne thought that was the perfect name for her only daughter.

"Peeta, where are we going? Victor's Village is that way, remember?" I hip-checked him slightly. He laughed and tilted his head to the side.

"Why don't you see for yourself?"

There, in plain sight, was Mellark Bakery.

I dropped his hand and looked at the building in awe. "Peeta..."

"Come inside."

The building was beautiful inside and out. I had never been through the doors before the Games (for lack of purpose), but I had to imagine that the new structure was even nicer than the original. There were tables in front of a huge display window, that allowed for any patron to eat and enjoy the sights and sounds of town. The entire place was already filled with the scent of delicious pastries.

"Why didn't you tell me that... I mean, I didn't even know... This place is..."

Peeta gently led me to the back, the area where the ovens were located.

"Oh Katniss, everything is going so well right now. I already have some people interested in working here. I have a staff, a building, and..." He stopped and scratched his neck. Peeta always had such a way with words that any apprehension in his voice was noticeable. "and now I have you. If you want me."

Instead of speaking, I replied with the only thing that made sense. I pressed my hand to his broad chest and pushed his body against the nearest oven. I kissed him before I thought better of it. Peeta took no more convincing than that. He met my enthusiasm with passion and wrapped one hand around my waist, keeping close to him, and tangled the other in my hair (the braid unravelled, due to nerves on our way into town).

The feeling was back. The fire that had been ignited on the beach during the Quell, back and more intense than before- because I knew there was nothing the Capitol could do to stop me. Nothing that could make this moment any less real.

I opened my mouth slightly, allowing our tongues to intertwine. His hand slipped underneath the hem of my shirt trailing gently up my spine. His touch sent sparks through me- and I didn't want him to stop.

"Hey bossman!" I jumped away from Peeta immediately. Some short blonde kid with green eyes and bad timing had burst through the kitchen doors. "I rang the bell at the counter and when you didn't answer I-" He stopped talking for long enough to take in the scene. "But you know what? I could just come back later if now is a bad time."

Peeta was blushing slightly and ran his hand through his own shaggy blonde locks. "No Posner, we might as well get to talking now." He shot me an apologetic look and hustled the kid back into the front.

While the situation didn't end in the most pleasant way, I couldn't say that I was complaining... And I couldn't say I wouldn't be looking for another situation like this in the future.


	4. Relighting

**This is the most lemony thing I have ever written in my life and I hope that it isn't complete trash. Favorites/Alerts/Reviews always appreciated! Please review and most importantly- enjoy.**

_His fingertips trailed down my spine as we lay comfortably together in the sand. Neither of us wearing anything aside from our undergarments, everything else shed long ago for us to swim. We'd spent the morning in the woods at my lake, Peeta wading comfortably, me dipping underneath the water and coming up only when I absolutely must take a breath. The sun was warm and inviting, and for the first time in a long time- I was happy. I was truly and contentedly happy._

"_I love you," The words spilled from my lips before I could stop them. My face was turned away from him, which may have made it easier to admit. "I wish I could live in this moment forever," I continued._

_I didn't notice that his hand was removed from my back until it was too late. I turned to face him and one of my arrows had materialized in his hand. His face registered a look that I couldn't comprehend and his eyes had completely glossed over. I was paralyzed with fear. _

"_You filthy mutt! You just wanted to get me out here so you could drown me, just like you tried to in the Quell, right? You're not going to fool me again." _

I jolted awake just seconds before the arrow pierced my throat. Nightmares concerning Peeta were far more prevalent now than they used to be. I haven't seen Prim in my sleep since Peeta and my day at the rebuilt bakery. Now, the only things that fill my thoughts are of the boy with the bread killing me in one form or another. Last night it was much more gruesome.

"Katniss, it's okay." I realized then that Peeta was still lying next to me. He brushed his blonde locks out of his face and rubbed his eyes. "Katniss, I'm here."

That was the problem. He was here, he was always here. And the more I began to need his presence, the harder it became for me to watch him slip away from me. Suffice to say, it didn't happen often anymore. He was getting better at controlling the glossy memories from taking over his entire being. Yet every time I saw him slip away from me, I was afraid he'd never come back- and that was my greatest fear.

"Peeta," I choked into his broad chest. He pulled me into him and held me, gently stroking my hair as I cried.

"It's okay, Kat… It's not real. Whatever it is, it's not real. I'm here."

It was real though. Peeta had tried –on more than one occasion- to take my life. What would happen if he were to lose control one day? The incessant battle between reality and fabrications of my mind are too much to handle, and I was ready to break.

"I don't want to keep living like this, Peeta. I am scared to bring you too close and then have you leave me in the end. I just want to know that you're not going anywhere this time." He leaned his forehead against mine and cupped my cheek in his hand. His hands were warm and reassuring, and I knew that no matter what he said at this moment, I would believe it. Only Peeta Mellark had this could have this effect on me.

"I would have given anything to keep us together in the Quell, Katniss, you know that. I never wanted any of this to happen to us. I just wanted this; you and me, together, without having to play it up for the cameras. I just wanted you to love me and give the same in return." He placed a soft kiss on my lips but broke away to continue. "All I've ever wanted was to give you everything." I leaned back on my pillow, wrapping a hand behind his neck to pull him back with me. I didn't quite know what I was doing, but knew that I wanted a moment that we could live in forever, one that wouldn't be spoiled by nightmares or glossy visions.

Peeta maneuvered himself so he was propped up on his elbows above me. I allowed my mouth to open slightly, inviting his tongue to join with mine. The closer we were, the better, I'd come to realize. I slipped my hand underneath them hem of his t-shirt, gently urging it over his head. He pulled it off with ease, suggesting that whatever _this _was, he wasn't apprehensive about it. I broke away from our kiss and looked at the boy- the man – above me. While the Games had left both of us a bit ravaged and scarred, I still found him beautiful. He was strong, he was protective, and right now- he was mine.

"What?" Peeta smiled while placing kisses down my jaw and continuing to my neck.

"I don't know." I replied dumbly. I never had the words like he did. I couldn't put things eloquently, yet I was always great with actions. "Peeta?"

He stopped kissing me just long enough to reply. "Yes, Katniss?"

"Do you want me? I mean _really _want me now like that moment on the beach." His eyes met mine with a look so powerful; I wished I could draw the words out of the air between us. It was an answer I needed, though, as opposed to simply assuming. This was bigger than that.

"Katniss Everdeen, I have wanted every part of you since the first moment I laid eyes on you. And if that meant we had to go through what we've been through together, then so be it." I smiled weakly back at him. He was so sweet. I didn't even deserve someone like him. "Is this what you want?"

I slowly unfastened the top button of my night shirt without verbally replying. Peeta looked down at me with wonder as I continued, baring the top of my bra. I mentally commended myself for choosing a more elegant black silk from the Capitol after changing last night. I pushed the shirt away, slipping my arms out and allowing it to fall to the floor. I sat up, willing Peeta to complete the job on his own. He understood my cue, reaching to unfasten the hook and finally exposing me completely. At this moment, I imagined I would be more bashful, but instead, I felt anxious- excited even.

"Oh God, Katniss. You're so beautiful." Peeta kissed me again, only this time simultaneously cupping my right breast and grazing my nipple with his thumb. I emitted a whimpering sound that I didn't know I could make. His touch sent a warm wave throughout my entire body. I slid two fingers in the waistband of his pajama pants, pulling him down to meet me completely. As his lower half pressed against mine, I felt him through the thin cotton bottoms he was wearing. I had elicited a reaction from him that I never knew I could.

He really did want this.

"Take it off." I whispered in his ear. My request didn't fall on deaf ears. Even with his bad leg he was able to take his pants of quickly. "I meant all of it."

I didn't know what had come over me. Something about this boy made me reach into a part of me that I never thought I'd access. I raised my hips to his, grazing against him just so. Peeta groaned and shook his head, whispering in reply. "It's not that simple, sweetheart." For the first time in this experience, he took the initiative, grabbing my shorts and urging them downwards. I kicked them off and he placed a hand on my thigh, inching upward slowly. The fabric of my underwear was already warm and wet, which he'd find out soon enough as well.

This was unknown territory for the both of us. I was all his and right now he was all mine. I wanted nothing more than the full realization of what it meant to love someone. I wanted it right now.

And it was the most beautiful thing I could ask for.


	5. Relearning

**Thank you for the response to my first FanFic! I has all been greatly appreciated. This is pretty much smutty all the way through- but true to Katniss/Peeta form, always classy. Haha, enjoy (:**

The clock on the bedside table read 3:30 AM. Although I hadn't been consumed by nightmares this evening, I hadn't been able to sleep well. I knew exactly why. Peeta's proximity to me was disarming. Not necessarily because he made me uncomfortable, but because ever since our night together, I knew there was a fire within me that needed to be satiated. I just wasn't sure if I was willing to reach into those depths again so soon. Peeta understood that I didn't want children, of course, and was perfectly willing to use protection. It was just that the risk would always be there, and I couldn't push those thoughts out of my mind. And true to his nature, he wouldn't push anything further than I was comfortable with.

"As long as you need me to, I'll wait," he told me as we lay together that night. I couldn't help but recall that moment. His head propped up on his arm as he looked at me with wonder. I will never understand why I was a prize to him, but as long as he was willing to have me, I'd be there for him.

I shifted under the weight of his arm. He remained asleep, his breathing even and controlled. He was in his sleep as he was in real life. Even and always in control.

I moved closer to him, almost ashamed of the thoughts running through my head. Perhaps if he weren't so gentle and understanding all of the time it would have been easier to deprive myself of him. There was no changing the boy with the bread though, and that was admirable (not to mention enticing). I denied myself no longer. Letting memories of the other night into my mind, I slipped one hand into the front of my underwear- which were already damp with longing. Without much ado I found the spot that had provided me with so much pleasure when Peeta had found it. Unconsciously grinding against Peeta behind me (while attempting not to wake him), it didn't take long for me to reach the point of no return.

"Katniss…" I felt him breathe against my ear, turning my body rigid. My cheeks flushed with embarrassment and I was immediately grateful for the cover of darkness. It wasn't until I felt a nibble on my earlobe that I understood. His voice wasn't that of reprimand- I had awakened the beast.

Still, I couldn't help but apologizing. "Did I wake you up? I'm so sorry…" I trailed off. I turned over and met his eyes for the first time. The corners of his mouth twitched upwards and a coy smile. We both knew I'd been caught red handed (no pun intended). "Why are you looking at me like that?" I rolled my eyes and huffed.

Peeta, unfazed, keep staring. "I just thought that the other night may have just been a fluke. Nice to know you've been thinking of me."

"Peet, it's not like it looks, it's just I happened to be awake and-" He held one finger to my lips to silence me. I had come to realize another thing about being intimate with him; I liked it when he took control. I was expected to be a bit crass and unwavering everywhere else, but around here, I took solace in letting him be in charge.

"And you happened to be having dirty thoughts about me. That's fine. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either." Although there was a playful lilt in his voice, I knew that what he said was true. There was no use pretending that I hadn't heard him whisper my name in his sleep or vice versa. "Just nice to know the girl on fire has some heat in her yet." He maneuvered me into his lap, my legs straddling his waist. He met my lips with reckless abandon, all pretense between us fallen away. I pushed his chest until he lay flat against the bed, sliding my hands underneath his shirt and running them along his broad chest. "You want me, real or not real?"

He broke our kiss long enough to ask. I had always liked this game. "Real" I answered breathlessly against his jawline. I planted kisses along the stubble that would almost certainly be gone in the morning. Although, I liked it, made he seem a little more rugged.

"You haven't been able to stop thinking about the two of us together since the other night, real or not real?" I slid the straps of my nightgown off of my shoulders slowly, knowing the sight of nothing underneath would be enough to silence the questions.

His eyes widened slightly, this only having been the second time he'd ever seen me like this. "Maybe you should ask yourself that question," Peeta raised me off of his lap quickly, my head now at the end of the bed, his large frame towering above mine.

I took in a sharp breath of pleasure as he sucked lightly at one of my nipples.

"The answer is yes, a hundred times yes." Peeta commented as he moved back to my lips. This all felt so good, so right, but there was always going to be that elephant in the room. "You're thinking, what are you thinking about?" He asked gently.

"Peeta, I can't get pregnant. And I just want so badly to be with you, but I just can't." I rolled over and covered my face with my hands. This was awful. No matter what I did I couldn't get past the most basic of all fears and just let what should happen, happen. I kind sigh escaped Peeta's lips and he pulled the mussed comforter over my now shivering body.

"I know, Kat… It's nothing to be upset about. We don't have to do, you know, anything you're not ready for. There are always other options.." His hand trailed up my thigh slowly, sending shivers through my body. He stopped and continued. "Right now I gotta go take care of this, though." He raised the waistband of his pajama pants, looking down at his impatient member.

Peeta slipped out of bed quickly, but not before placing a kiss on my forehead.

His words, as usual, left me more relaxed than I was before. But I couldn't shake that same hopeless feeling I'd had since the Games ended. There was so much that needed fixing beyond my control, but this time was different. I was going to fix me.

Whatever that meant.


	6. Chapter 6

I had just gotten off the phone with Dr. Aurelius. This was the first full therapy session we'd had because I actually wanted to have, not because it was part of my probation. After everything that had happened between Peeta and I, it seemed like I needed to speak with someone. Haymitch was obviously out of the question, so my therapist was really the only option. He'd suggested that if we both wanted intercourse to continue, we should build up to that, which was what Peeta had pretty much suggested the night before. Intimacy didn't have to be forced, he said, and Peeta was the type who would understand. We would get there, but in due time, and that was nothing to be ashamed of.

I hung up the phone and not even minutes later; there was a knock at the front door. I knew right away that it couldn't have been Haymitch. His manners prevented him from doing things that may have been taken as, I don't know, polite?

"Delly! What are you doing here? I thought you had classes during the day." Post-secondary education was a completely new concept for anyone outside of the Capitol. To be quite honest, none of us had ever even considered schooling beyond high school. With the new government though, education and health were become higher priorities. Delly was one of the lucky few who were able to take a few classes at the District's 'community college', or rather, the basement of the Justice Building. Hey, you had to start somewhere, right?"

"We're out for the week. Fall break!" She smiled and wrapped her arms around me. To be honest, I had missed Delly. I'd been so caught up in my own personal traumas lately; I hadn't even spoken to her. "I was hoping you'd be free for a walk or something. We have so much to catch up on!" Her personality was just as bubbly as ever.

"Yeah, sure. Just let me grab my jacket, come on in if you'd like."

True to Delly form, she stepped inside and looked around. "I love what you've done with the place. It feels so homely now." I knew what she meant. I'd hung up some of Peeta's paintings, there were dishes in the sink, and the permanent scent of cinnamon lingered in the air from the baking.

"Blame Peeta." I rolled my eyes and she laughed. "You ready to get going?"

"That's so great! I knew you and Peeta would figure it out sooner or later. Speaking of guys, I'm having a bit of a dilemma." Delly commented, pulling her hair into a ponytail and then letting it fall.

"Dell, I probably not the best consultant for situations such as these… Um, you know?"

She swatted my shoulder. "Katniss, don't be silly! You're the best person I know for things like this. You're realistic. And you've been pregnant and married to the hottest guy in District 12." I laughed. Yeah, we had orchestrated one of the most elaborate romantic ruses in history, so perhaps I was a good consultant.

We walked through the center of town, passing old and new faces alike. It was rare when I ventured outside of Victor's Village, even after all this time. "So what seems to be the problem?" I asked.

"So I went to the bakery a few weeks ago, you know, for my morning cheese bun. And Instead of seeing Peeta behind the counter, there was this other guy that I had never seen before. Katniss, believe me when I tell you, he's precious." I knew who Delly was talking about. Posner, the guy who had interrupted Peeta and I's tryst in the bakery was the object of her affection. "So I've been in there pretty much every time I can afford to buy something since then, and he doesn't seem to even notice my flirtation! It's getting demoralizing.

"Delly, have you told him that you like him?" I ventured.

"You really think that'll work?" Delly practically lost her cookies at the idea. I simply nodded and turned her in the direction of the bakery.

"Give it a shot, Dell."

"Thanks Katniss! You're the best." She ran off towards her prospect, and I just shook my head.

Oh, to be young and in love.

Peeta came home around five, limping through the front door and collapsing on the couch.

"Peet, what's wrong?" I dropped the dish that I had been washing in the sink and quickly dried my hands on my apron. I sat on my heels next to the couch, concerned.

"Nothing really, I mean, I'll be okay." He feigned a smile and kissed my forehead. "It's a funny story actually. Delly Cartwright came in today and professed her love for Posner, my apprentice. When he said he'd been trying to figure out a way for her to notice him, she dropped one of my delicious cream filled pastries on the ground in excitement. I didn't notice it until it was too late."

I burst out in a fit of laughter, falling backwards on the carpet. What a Delly thing to do! I only wish Peeta hadn't had to pay the price for her endearing antics. "Oh honey, I'm going to run you a hot bath with some muscle relaxant solution in it." I stood up and Peeta grabbed my hand. "Yes?"

"I'd feel much better if you joined me." I pulled him up off the couch and headed upstairs.

"Only if you're lucky, pal."


	7. Chapter 7

I couldn't even believe my own actions. After everything we'd been through lately, I was becoming accustomed to having Peeta share everything with me… Well, almost everything. And yet, I found myself at the local clinic, getting birth control. Yes, we had spent some very intimate moments together lately, but we hadn't gone all the way quite yet. There had still been some demons that I wasn't exactly prepared to fight until now. For the first time ever, I truly wanted to give all of myself to someone. Not just someone, though, I wanted Peeta Mellark. I wanted the love of my life to truly understand how much he meant to me. I wanted to give him everything he'd ever wanted. I wanted to be the girl I had spent so long running away from. I wanted to make love with him.

A week ago, he'd spent the entire day in town, putting some of the finishing touches on the justice building remodel while I had my doctor's appointment. They had decided to offer some post-secondary classes for those who choose to take them, in exchange for the promise of philanthropy throughout the district. And now of course, there was a legitimate foundation on which to build the education of our citizens. The bottom floor really did look like something, according to Peeta's reports when he returned home last night. Home- the home that we had really begun to share. His things were all making their way over to my house in Victor's Village, slowly but surely. I knew that if I said the word he would move in today. But I think that we just allowed the natural progression of things to run their course for safety's sake.

"Katniss, where have you been?" Peeta greeted me from the kitchen as I stepped through the door, dropping my hunting bag on the floor. There was no game in it. I hadn't actually gotten anything. Instead, I had relegated myself to the woods in hope of clearing my head. There was no clearing it, though. I was consumed by blind passion. And to be quite honest, it was getting harder and harder to fight it. "It's been dark for a while now." He placed a soft kiss on my lips in greeting. I could already tell I wanted more.

I bit my lip, attempting to control my smile. Something was already coming over me, but we had to talk before this went anywhere else tonight or any other night. "I have some news for you."

Peeta ran his hand through his hair as he always did when he was unsure about what else to do or say. I stepped towards the kitchen table, where he had already set out a plate for me to eat whenever I returned home. I motioned for him to take a seat across from me. "Katniss, I'm going to let you know now that 'I have some news for you' has never played well in my favor before, so I must admit my apprehension in this meeting." I laughed lightly and grabbed his hands.

"I'm on birth control." I blurted it out quickly. There was no more adieu to be made about it.

His eyes and smile widened together. "Wait, so, you mean that you're actually.." All I had to do was nod, and he scooped me up in his arms and twirled me around the kitchen. "Why didn't you tell me you were going to the doctor? I would have been there with you every step of the way." Finally my feet were replaced on the ground. I met his eyes and saw a flash of hurt. I thought that this could only be good news, and suddenly it was turning into something else.

"I felt like I had to do it on my own… I wanted to surprise you with something after everything you've done for me." I directed my eyes to the ground- looked like I had messed something else up without even realizing it.

He reached out and tilted my chin so my eyes were locked with his again. "Listen to me. You never have to go through anything that big alone again, Katniss Everdeen. I will always be here if you want me." I leaned in and kissed him. I just wanted him to understand that I not only wanted him, but _needed_ him now. Things weren't the way they used to be.

"Come on," I nodded towards the stairs. "I have another surprise for you."

Katniss led the way to the bedroom, having already given away what this next surprise was going to be. This was really going to be it. There were a million thoughts running through my head at once, all of which containing some level of doubt. Was this what Katniss truly wanted? Was _I _what she truly wanted? My answers had always been the same. I had been in love with her my entire life and all I ever desired was to be with her.

I kissed her in our doorway, sweeping her up into my arms and carrying her into our now shared bedroom. We found our way to the bed finally breaking apart and looking deep into each other's eyes. I could see for the first time in a long time, true vulnerability in Katniss. In the privacy of our own home was the only time she allowed this part of herself to come out. In this room, Katniss was no longer the warrior she was anywhere else. In here, she was mine. And it was beautiful.

"Tell me you love me." It wasn't necessarily a command, more of a request than anything. I had come to recognize that Katniss enjoyed being pushed in the bedroom. It was a switch of roles that I wasn't necessarily completely comfortable with yet- not that I wasn't enjoying figuring it out though.

"I love you." She reached up and tangled her hands in my hair, bringing my lips forcefully to hers. I wasn't letting her off the hook that easily, not tonight. I wanted reassurance for everything that I had questioned for so long. Katniss reached for my shirt, willing me to pull it off. "Come on…" She whimpered, obviously anxious for what was to come.

I shook my head and rolled her onto her back, gently sliding her hands off of me. "No, you're going first tonight." The restraint required not to rip both of our clothes of in one fell swoop was something that I had to work on. We had been breaking down these barriers in our intimacy for a while now, and it was becoming easier to feel my way through these moments. Not to mention, watching Katniss undress herself was easily the sexiest thing I had ever seen. She slowly guided her tight shirt over her torso, casting it aside. Beneath me, the love of my life was bare from the waist up and its effects were already becoming palpable.

This was going to be much more difficult than it had been lately, because tonight, the endgame was going to be much different. "Now you?" She feigned a pout and an innocent voice that drove me out of my mind. I shook my head again and kissed along her jawline, lingering at her earlobe.

"You're not finished yet, are you?" I whispered in her ear, sucking on her lobe momentarily- eliciting a moan from Katniss. She quickly reached down to ease off her hunting slacks, leaving her underwear on. "Come on, baby," I ran my hand along her slim frame stopping right above her pubic bone. "Don't make me beg." The reaction to my hands being so close to where she wanted them was immediate. She pulled her underwear off and tossed them into the pile over other castaway clothing.

"Peeta…" She reached up to me, urging my body closer to her own. I was lost when she finally said the words I had been waiting for. "I need you inside of me."

I spared no time, removing my own clothes, covering our bodies with a blanket. I trailed my fingers down her body, lingering near her center before sliding two fingers inside of her. "You're so wet for me. This must have been what you were waiting for." She gasped as I curled my fingers, pushing her hips into my hands, urging them deeper. I massaged her breast with my other hand, her sounds no longer reminiscent of actual words. Instead, she was breathing out primal moans and indescribable sounds of pleasure. I slid out of her before she came. I wanted this to last.

Our waists were flush against each other, and my throbbing member teased at her entrance. God, I wanted her so badly, but I wanted her to say it again. I needed her to remind me over and over until her words only ones ringing through my head. "I want you to say it again. Tell me how bad you want me, Katniss." I took her nipple in my mouth, causing another –much louder- moan to escape this time. I knew how close she was to the edge, I could feel it in the air.

"I-I want you so badly, Peet, you don't even understand." She replied, wrapping her legs around my back, not allowing any space between us. "I would do anything." She practically sighed the last word. I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. I aligned myself at her entrance, only desiring one more thing before continuing.

"Tell me I'm the only one you want this with."

Her eyelids fluttered shut, as she struggled to find the words. "I want you so much it hurts," She managed out. "You are the only man who could ever make me feel this way. Peeta, please…" I could hold back no longer. I entered, careful so not to hurt her. Slowly, I went deeper and deeper until finally, Katniss gave me the nod to continue. I didn't take long. A few thrusts and we were both soaring into oblivion, giving no care to who heard us or what anyone might have thought about our love-making. Finally, we were together in the most intimate way possible, and nothing was going to change that. I collapsed on top of her, both of our heart rates struggling to return to normal.

Katniss wrapped her arms around my now slightly sweaty back and kissed the top of my head. I began attempting to slide out of her, but she wouldn't allow it, not yet anyway, "Stay. I never want this feeling to go away." Her voice was light, as though she was drifting off, but she continued. "I want to spend my life with you, Peeta. Whether that's another day or another fifty years, I want us to be together. As close as possible."

That was the last thing she said before she fell asleep. And it was the only thing I ever really needed to hear.


End file.
